14 May Will We Ever Stop Hurting Each Other?
Question: Will We Ever Stop Hurting Each Other?
This is a question I get asked a LOT. It’s also a question I have asked myself many times too.
Understanding the hurt that comes as part of a relationship, between a man and a woman, is important for you and I to know.
Hurt in a long term relationship is quite normal. Whether it’s right, wrong, good, or bad, well… I’ll leave that for you to decide.
I really believe that if you are in a relationship, and don’t hurt each in some way or another, it’s not a truly intimate relationship. Now, you might think differently, and that’s fine, but I can only talk from my own experience, and the experience of others.
If you meet someone who has been in a long term relationship, 5, 10, 20 years, and they say, “We never argue” or “We have never hurt each other”, I’m just saying, it’s all bullshit. I don’t know any couple who doesn’t hurt each other, whether it’s mentally, emotionally, psychology, or even physically.
That’s because hurting each other in a relationship is quite normal. I’m not saying it’s good or bad, but it is normal, and something you and I should expect when you commit to a relationship.
Now, this doesn’t mean you intentionally try to hurt your partner, that’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that hurt in a relationship, between a man and a woman is normal.
At times in the relationship, the man will leave. This could be for a number of reasons. As a woman, the way to attract him back into the relationship is with your love and radiance.
At other times in the relationship, the woman may get lost in mood of longing and emotions, of hurt and rejection. Once you realise this, he might try to draw you back into the relationship with humour, perspective, and happiness.
These are only two examples of the essential hurt between a man and a woman in a committed relationship.
As a woman, you may sometimes get in moods of hurt, longing, and doubt. But if your partner is a good man (and I’m sure he is, otherwise you wouldn’t have committed to him in the first place), he might try to pull you back into the relationship, with love, humour, and perspective. He will communicate, “I love you”, which will reopen your heart, connection and intimacy for him.
The choice is now yours as to whether you accept his love or not. But that’s one of his masculine gifts to you.
At other times, he will get distracted. He’ll do this by withdrawing from the relationship and life, and go into his cave of isolation and freedom. If you are a good woman, which I’m sure you are, YOU should invite him back into the relationship with your gift of love and radiance. This will attract him back into the relationship, and will give him new life and new energy.
The choice is then his as to whether he accepts or rejects your love. That’s one of your feminine gifts to him.
Naturally, a woman with feminine energy invites her partner, a man of masculine energy back into the relationship with gifts of her personal energy.
On the other hand, a man with masculine energy gifts you with strong and gentle love that goes right through you, opening you into happiness, humour, and love.
So the next time you hurt each other, which is going to happen (trust me on that), use this idea of gifting each other to bring the other person back into the relationship.
Rather than turning away and calling it a day, learn to give each other your gift, even when you’re hurt by each other’s actions.
Remember, this gift giving must be mutual, as no one man or woman can fight for a relationship on their own.