02 Mar My Dating Journey – Sonia’s Story
One of our former members shared her dating journey with us, on how she met her fiancé. This is Sonia’s story…
I was single for a long time before I met my fiancé.
I started to actively look for someone 2 or 3 years before meeting him, and I made sure that I was going to a range of different types of events and going out in a range of situations to increase my chances of meeting someone.
There were a mixture of internal and external struggles at different points. To begin with, when I was a lot younger, I got a lot of pressure from my family, to fit into cultural norms. Then as I was getting older, in my mid-twenties there was pressure from my parents about how I was getting older and I needed to settle down.
However just before I met my partner, I started to become disillusioned with dating. I felt like I wasn’t meeting the right kinds of people and it started to seem frivolous.
So at this point, I made a conscious decision to not be so active in searching for someone, and I decided to focus my energy on taking care of myself and doing things for myself and my own happiness.
Over time I talked to my family about the pressures that I felt they were putting on me, and I became more comfortable with sharing my feelings about the whole situation with them. I was also very honest about when I was going out and dating, so that we could have open conversations about it together.
Then eventually, I met my partner on a blind date set up by a family friend!
I realised very quickly that we were a good match.
In fact, our first date was a great indicator! I don’t think I’d laughed so much or felt such an instant connection with anyone else before. Then after a few months, I became more sure about him. It didn’t take long for us to get to know each other, and it was helped by the way we had met through family friends. That meant we were on the same page and the ‘serious relationship’ conversations happened quickly.
Our only major obstacles have been about our expectations of each other in our relationship.
To begin with, I think we were both expecting things to be perfect right from the start, because we knew where we were heading. Overall though, having to talk about things and making sure we understood where we both were and what we both wanted has made our relationship stronger because we’re more considerate of each other.
Aw thank you so much for sharing Sonia, this is such a lovely happy ending!