#3 Humility: The Humility It Takes To Find Love

#3 Humility: The Humility It Takes To Find Love

Reading Time: 5 mins

In this article, we’re talking about humility. The humility it’s going to take to get you the success you want. This is one of those foundational steps you must understand.

Humility. Everybody that I know thinks they have it. I think I have it. You probably think you have it. And to a certain extent, you and I do have it. But I’m talking about a whole new level of humility. I’m not talking about the humility that you grew up with. Where you don’t look somebody in the eye, look down and go, “Yeah, you know, I don’t know everything.”

I call that outward humility. The world is full of people with outward humility.

Then you have people who seemingly have no humility. Let’s take Michael Jordan for example. Michael Jordan was known, in many ways, to be one of the cockiest people that you would ever meet. You could say he was outwardly cocky. But you don’t become the greatest basketball player of all time by being cocky. What was his secret? His coaches said, “I’ve never met a person who would a) listen and b) go and do it, like Michael Jordan.

Like the Dalai Lama says in his book Beyond Religion, there’s 3 levels of listening: 1) just pure listening 2) understanding and comprehending, and 3) making it instinctually part of who you are.

So, when we’re talking about humility, and the humility it’s going to take you to get the relationship you want, understand, it’s not just talk. Because even though Michael Jordan was outwardly cocky, it didn’t matter, because inside he was able to be coached.

Most of us are outwardly humble, and inwardly very cocky. You don’t believe me? Let me ask you this question: How many mentors have you tracked down, gone around the world, found, begged, pleaded, to become your mentor in whatever goal you’re trying to accomplish?

How many people have you tracked down in your life and said, “Look, I don’t really know what I’m doing, I’m here because I need your help.”

Probably not a lot. But surely you see that doing this will benefit you massively. How many times have you done that in your life? How many times have you actively sought out somebody and asked them for help? You see, this is the key.

You and I often show outward humility, “Yeah, I don’t know it all” but really we act like we know it all. Let me ask you another question: How many books have you been reading? Who’s more humble, someone who says, “I read a book a month” or someone who says, “Man, I gotta learn, I  need to read more.” I say it’s the person who knows they need to keep reading more. That’s the more humble person.

The more you learn, the more you’re saying with your actions.

You see, I don’t care what your outer humility is. People who know me, know that I can come across a bit cocky. But if you look at the actuality. If you peel back the layers and get to reality, you’ll realise I’m extremely humble. 

Most people say, “Yeah yeah, I’ll do it” but never do. Listening is not enough. You must implement. You must become an implementor. And that’s going to take humility. This is the attitude that Sam Walton had. This is the attitude that Michael Jordan had. This is the attitude that Abraham Lincoln had. This is the attitude we must all have.

You must have the humility to listen and then implement. Don’t tell me you’re humble. Show me you’re humble.

Do you have a level of humility where you’re so obsessed with things that you don’t know, that you’re entire life is projecting that attitude. “Oh, you know something I don’t know, I want to know.”

I call this the Robin Hood mentality. You must have the Robin Hood mentality. This means you see every person as having a piece of gold in their brain. You take the piece of gold and give it to yourself. So when you find the right person, use the Robin Hood mentality. “I’m poor, please share your knowledge with me.”

It’s the mentality. It’s not in ourselves that you will find the answer. It’s in our humility.

I always hear people saying things like, “I want a great relationship” And the first thing I think is, “How humble are you?” “Are you actually doing anything to learn about how to have a great relationship?”.

I always talk about rich friends and poor friends. Well my rich friends are the humblest of all. They read the most. They hunt mentors down. They listen actively. 

Don’t tell me how humble you are. Just give me some facts about yourself. Tell me what books you’ve read, and how many. Tell me how many mentors you’ve found. Tell me how many flash cards you’ve written to get better at approaching and conversations. Tell me how many hours you’ve spent with your mentors learning from them.

Here’s another little test to see how humble your friends are. Ask them how much time and money they’ve spent on learning. 

You must have this level of humility. I want you to be like a sponge. Listen and learn. Absorb the knowledge around you. Live a life of humility, in action. Remember, everybody wants a great relationship, but not everybody gets a great relationship because not everybody is humble enough.

When you meet with people, do you take notes? When I see my mentors, I’m always taking notes. Whether it’s on my phone, or in my notebook. I take notes and I go back and read them, and interpret them into how I can use them. You see, that’s humility in action. I can prove it to you, I’ll show you the notes at our next singles event ?.

I want you to accelerate. Don’t be happy with a level 5 humility. Push it to level 9 or 10. Your net worth, your value, your spiritually, your love life, your social life, and your physical body are all going to be taken to the next level by the level of humility will have.

These are success principles that you can implement today. This is one of them. Almost anyone who has ever done anything big in their lives has had mentors. There’s a pattern among successful people. The people, the successful people, the people who change the world, the thought leaders, they all had mentors. Martin Luther King had a mentor. Einstein had a mentor.

Stop for a second and legitimately ask yourself, how humble have you been in taking action, on a scale of 1-10? Rate yourself 1-10 in terms of effort, in terms of action.

1-10, how many books have you read?

1-10, how many mentors have you tracked down to help you?

1-10, how many people have you found who are already doing what you want, and how much time have you spent with them?

1-10, how much money have you spent, of your hard earned cash, on acquiring the knowledge you need?

Money is the greatest test of them all. Remember, wherever you invest your money, that is where your heart really is.

Now I want you to take these numbers, and calculate the average. Add them together and divide them by 4. That is your humility in action score. If you’re average, I’d guess your score is a 5 or 6. And here’s the hard truth. That number right there is probably the quality of the relationships in your life. Average.

Your goal must be to get that score up. 

Hopefully this principle of humility is something we agree on.

So why do we live in world where people are such failures, yet so cocky. I always ask myself, “Where does this level of pride come from?”

Where does this level of cockiness come from, where people can hardly pay their rent.

Where does this level of cockiness come from, where people are overweight.

Where does this level of cockiness come from, where people have no love life.

Humility is saying, “Oops, my bad”. Humility is saying, “I don’t really know this”. 

Nobody actually cares how you are outwardly. You can be the cockiest person in the world. As long are you’re inwardly humble and taking action on it, people will love you.

Start measuring your humility by how many hours and how much money you spend on finding mentors.

All you should care about is one thing. Results results results. Life is short man. You can’t replenish years. Every day has to count. Every minute has to count. You have to become humility in action.

Let’s get into some practical takeaways. 

I want you to read more. I want you to listen to more audio books. Do it with the framework of, “I’m Robin Hood, trying to find that one piece of gold that this book has.”

Remember, don’t focus on the flaws. Focus on the gold. There are no perfect people. There are no perfect coaches. There are no perfect mentors. There are only humans. All humans have insight in different areas. Grab that insight.

I want you going out to more seminars, to more workshops and events in your city. There’s free ones and paid ones. I want you getting out and finding people who are doing what you want to do. The hours have to go up.

I can’t make your life change for you. Only you can do that. I’m just pointing you in the right direction. It’s only the person who takes action that gets results. You must become a teachable person, and take action. Like Michael Jordan.

Get humility in action, and the pay off will be huge for you.

Question: What steps are you taking to show more humility in your love life, and how has this helped you in achieving your goals?

This is legit stuff guys. Get the momentum rolling. If you want the meaningful relationship, be humble to say, “I don’t have the answers.”

The reward will be bigger than you can possibly imagine.

Speak soon,



Kamey Alvi

Founder of SBS. What's the biggest thing I can help you with?

No Comments

Post A Comment