14 Oct Don’t Let Age Get In Your Way
Don’t Let Age Get In Your Way | Reading time: 4 mins
Most guys don’t really care about a woman’s age… if everything else about her is on top form. So don’t let age get in your way.
One of the biggest comments I hear from girls is, “All guys just want a younger girl”.
Your age is not an excuse girls. And it’s really not a barrier.
In my experience it’s not as black and white as that for guys.
For us guys, it’s about two things: looks and personality (yes, we care about personality too).
This is where a deep understanding of how men think is fundamental.
On a basic level, women are driven by the behavioural cues of a man. His dominance, his resourcefulness, his decisiveness, his fearlessness, how grounded and free he his.
Men however, are driven by visual cues. We’re hardwired this way.
I’ll be going deep into how men think in my full day workshop, but for now just understand that skin, hair and nails are some of the most important things we look for in the early stages of any relationship.
In other words, guys are attracted by radiant looks and youthful energy. This is because these are the things that psychologically symbolise fertility to men. We are created with an evolutionary need to reproduce.
You might say, “But Kam, I’ve got great skin, hair and nails, and even though I’m 35, everyone says I look 25.”
Or “I’m 35 and super bubbly and I have more energy than my 18 year old niece”.
That’s great. But what I’m going to say next is going to clear this up.
I’ve dated girls who were 21 years old and had the wisdom or a 35 year old, and I’ve dated girls who were 35 and had the wisdom of a 21 year old.
Initially men are attracted to the visual cues of a woman, but over time, all guys know that looks fade. So what we’re left with is the real person. The personality.
Taking care of your looks is important, but guys are also 100% aware that they are superficial.
I want you to focus not just on looks, but also on the characteristics that make you into the woman you are. Your personality.
One of the reasons it’s much easier for younger girls to “get guys” (keeping them is a whole different kettle of fish!) is simply because of their youthful looks, but the tables turn when women get older. Girls can’t rely on their looks to get the guy they want.
I’ve dated girls who were models. I’ve also dated girls who were not so physically attractive. And I can say right now that I didn’t want either.
I wanted a girl who I was attracted to physically, but also a girl who had a great personality too. Personally I had to have both.
For me and most guys, it’s a 50/50 split: 50% looks, 50% personality. Simple.
If you’re 35 plus, it’s definitely harder to find a guy. That’s just a fact. But it’s not impossible.
The way to do it is to focus on your personality. Have an awesome personality to show your date and you can hook in any guy you want.
Here’s 3 Ways to Practically Focus On Your Personality:
Be a high value woman
Focus on what you’re good at. Your strengths. Most older girls that I meet have a horrible personality (I hate to say it but it’s honestly no wonder they’re single). Be a high value woman by simply staying high value. Don’t degrade yourself. Invest in your brain and focus on growing. The higher value you are, the higher quality of man you will meet, attract and keep. Show him your strengths.
Give him what younger girls can’t
Younger girls can give guys their youthful looks, radiance and energy. Of course, I want you to offer him these too, but I also want you give him what a 23 year old can’t give him. And that’s experience, intelligence, wisdom. Everything that makes up your personality. Focus on your advantages and he won’t be able to stay away.
Clear out the baggage
With age comes experience. And with experience comes baggage. Honestly girls, you need to clear out the baggage before you start looking for a man. When you meet a new guy, they don’t want to hear about ANY of your past relationships or past issues. It’s the biggest turn off. Keep things fresh, light and fun. Remember, it’s you and him and that means a fresh start. Show him who you are through your personality.
Age is not everything. Its 50%.
The other 50% is still up for grabs and that’s your personality.
Make sure your personality is on point.