12 Feb #2 Adaptability: The Change You Need To Find Love
Reading time: 5 mins
Change is the basic law of nature
According to Charles Darwin, it is not the most intellectual that survives, it is not the strongest that survives, but it is the most adaptable that survives.
Let’s apply this concept to dating, relationships and love.
What Charles Darwin is saying, is the people who adapt to the natural changes are the ones most likely to survive and reach their goal.
I’m sure you’ve seen this in your own experience…
It is not the most intellectual that win, it is not the strongest that win, it is the one who changes and adapts
You have to get this right.
Or I can tell you this, you’re not going anywhere quickly.
Think about it.
Have you ever been in a job and the signs were there pretty early on that you should move on and do something else, but you stayed longer than you should have.
Have you ever been in a friendship where there were signs that it might not turn out to be the best relationship, but you stayed in it too long.
Have you ever been in a romantic relationship where you’ve stayed with somebody, and the signs were there for you to leave, but you ignored them.
Understand, it’s not just changing for the sake of changing.
That means reading external signs that come to you.
And if the signs are bad, you get out of that situation, that marriage, that relationship before it’s too late.
But no. I’ve been guilty of this, and I’m sure you have too.
This has been a key reason why you and I have wasted weeks, months, years, decades, of your life in something that you should have changed and adapted out of much quicker.
Of course, you can change too quickly. Sometimes you have to give things a chance.
Like I said, I’m not talking about change for the sake of change. I’m talking about adaptability.
Remember, you don’t have time to adapt and change slowly.
You have one life. And only a certain amount of years.
I want to get you aware and focused fast.
Let’s say you read the signs and it takes you 6 months to really figure out the situation. Listen, you need to cut that to 3 months.
Because the speed with which you can adapt and evolve, is the speed with which you can get whatever it is that you want out of life.
You and I, from a young age have been taught to see everything black and white.
Begin to train yourself now.
All there is in life is your goal
Which I’m sure is the reason you’re here reading this.
You’re moving towards a goal.
So along the way, as long as something moves you forward toward that goal, it can’t be a mistake or a failure.
It’s an experiment.
So instead of seeing things in black and white, “I went on this date and it failed.” See it as, “I went on this date as an experiment and it moved me towards my goal, and I got out of it quick enough because the signs were there, and I adapted and I used that experience, to change my approach to dating.”
And it’s a continual adaptation.
This is the new way to think about life.
This is the new way to think about finding love.
I don’t want you to think about dating in the black and white way.
Of course there are things in this world that are black and white.
But I’m talking about success.
I want to get you the success you’re looking for in love.
I’m not saying I have all the answers.
But I’m telling you, you better be an adaptability machine.
Change is the basic law of nature.
Change is the law of life.
Let’s say you want to lose weight. There’s no right or wrong diet. The best diet is the one that’s adapted to you and your adaptable body.
In business. The guy who started Instagram, he originally started it as an app to store addresses and contacts. But then he read the signs and he adapted and he saw that photos were better. He wasn’t in love with his idea. He didn’t see his idea as black and white.
He adapted and turned on a dime.
You and I must do the same.
If you say to me, “Kam, I’m gonna get up in the morning and I’m going to experiment and adapt to what works for me.”
You, my friend, are on a path to success.
Finding love comes down to a set of experiments.
There’s no right or wrong about this.
Be adaptable, change on a dime. Don’t be stuck in your ways.
This is one of those ignorant habits that we just have to get rid of.
Remember, don’t think like the masses.
If you want results that are different to the masses, you can’t think like the masses.
You must do this.
If you want the big results in your love life, you’re going to have to stop the things you’ve been doing, you’re going to have to be more adaptable, you’re going to have to read the signs.
Try not to take things so personally.
This is all about getting the results you want, faster.
If you can’t find the partner you want, adjust with it.
Adapt and come up with a new strategy.
Let’s get practical, let’s start with health
Start by reading the obvious signs.
I can’t tell you how hard this has been in my own life.
I can’t tell you how hard this is going to be.
It’s going to be harder than you think.
Read what’s in front of you.
Start by going in front of the mirror, take off all your clothes, stand there naked in front of the mirror. Read the obvious signs of your body.
Do you look healthy?
Do you look fit?
Do you look stressed?
Does your skin look good?
Start with health.
Everything you need to know for the most part is right there.
Read what’s in front of you.
Read the obvious signs and then adapt.
Set an 18 month goal. If you set an 18 month goal, your body can change.
If you set an 18 day goal, it’s too crazy.
And what about wealth
You have to have enough money to be financially independent.
You better read the signs, and be ready to adapt at a moments notice.
Remember, it is not the most intellectual that win, it is not the strongest that win, it is the one who changes and adapts.
Things change fast in business.
Stop looking at things in black and white.
Adapting means being unstable for a short amount of time.
Most people aren’t tough enough to go through that time where they have to adapt.
Remember, you’re looking for stability.
But to get stability, you have to be willing to be unstable.
Let’s think about friendship, relationships, and love…
A lot of the time people stay in relationships even though they’re unstable.
People are dating someone that is clearly the wrong person for them, but they stay with them.
If you see the signs, why are you still in the relationship?
It’s simple, because you’re not tough enough to leave.
You’re driven by fear.
You’re not willing to go through that period of uncertainty when you’re single.
But if you’re tough enough, you’re no longer going to fear that.
Don’t fear the grind.
It’s an exciting time.
Do things that you wouldn’t normally do.
If you have to be single and unstable for a while, the certainty will come.
You will find another relationship.
You’ve got to have courage to get through this stuff.
You must say to yourself, “I am a changing machine.”
Remember, each day is a new day.
It’s an exciting way to see the world.
It doesn’t take a high IQ to do what I’m talking about.
It doesn’t take physical strength to do what I’m talking about.
It takes a mentality that’s always moving and changing and adapting.
I want you to do this with love.
Adapt adapt adapt.
So if you’re single right now, you might have to adapt your personality.
You might say, “Kam, I want someone to love me for me.”
Well, your mum will love you for you.
People you meet don’t know you.
So you better start bringing something to the table.
It’s time to step it up.
Try being more outgoing.
Try being more reserved.
Try being kinder.
Try being a little less kind.
Try being more social.
Try being a little less social.
Try until you get the relationship you want.
Adapt. Experiment. Get a new strategy in place.
Question: What is your next step?
I hope this has been helpful.
See you on the next one,